Well knock me over and call me Susan….

     ….the response to my fledgling machine service and repair business has been a tad more overwhelming than anticipated, hence the lack of posting since “Back in the room”! With that and the weather allowing an upturn in the gardening side of things I have been running around like a headless chicken of late, a bloody cold headless chick at that, trying to keep on top of things and provide folk with a reliable and almost friendly service. I have to admit that although I have been as busy as feck I have yet to see much fruit in the form of profit from this new venture as I seem to be buying more and more tools for the business, some to replace stuff that’s not up to standard and others that I do not possess. Also I am finding that when ordering a service kit I am tending to order multiple so as to cut down on the turn around time for returning machinery. It is certainly a struggle to get my head around the demand and I am definitely learning to be far more organised, although not as well as I should be.

    In other news I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple or so weeks (must remember to check the date and time). I have, of late, been consumed with why the hell I can be so bleeding difficult to live with, making life for the lovely G somewhat of a struggle at times. I have had a tendency to blame my mental health, i.e. my depression but lately I starting thinking that perhaps that was taking an easy way out to explain some (if not a hell of a lot) of my behaviour. I shalt not go into detail at this point except to say that at least I am not a twat bad person, but sometimes I feel that G could merrily take a shotgun to my head causing death via much deserved (probably) lead poisoning.

     I read an article about ADHD within adults and it listed many of the telltale signs associated with it. I reckon that on that list of probably 25 to 30 markers I could happily associate with ninety per cent of them, mmmmm. Being the sceptical little bugger that I am I decided to research more sources of information and the penny began the droppeth, albeit with a very heavy thud. I talked to G about this and although she did not laugh there was a certain shine in eyes when she said that she had been thinking this for a very long time but was loath to mention it as I have a habit of brushing my health off and also blaming my depression. Soooo…we have arranged a visit to the doctor’s with the view of discussing the possibility of me having ADHD and being referred to the appropriate experts in the field.

    Funny enough the realisation that I may have ADHD has not have a negative effect on my state of mind , rather quite the opposite. For years I have blamed outside influences for some of my behavioural patterns. Whether it was the Black Dog of depression or the effects of my past life, but the fact that there may well be a reason for the way I am at times and that knowledge, instead of myself trying but unable to explain myself  has indeed given me a lift. Nothing is certain yet and we shall see where this journey may lead, but I am hopeful that better times are ahead.