I am truly not sure what this post is going to be about but I thought that I would give my typing fingers (both of them) some exercise and see what scribing detritus I come up with. That and the fact that I am trying to contribute on a much more frequent basis here than the one post every couple of years or so. Oh and talking about scribing detritus does anyone of my very rare readers know how to get a spell check to work on blogger because I have not a bloody clue and my spelling can be rather entertianing at times to say the least!
I seem to never fully get a grip on the things that trigger my depression, the triggers can be the smallest of things to something quite dramatic. I never know what will set my mindset spinning downwards in an uncontrolable descent to the dark places, sometimes a memory from the past, a seemingly trivel event in my daily routine or a combination of bad weather and/or injury that prevents me earning my pittance of a wage gardening are a few of a million and one things that can call the Black Dog back into my mind. But, I have to be thankful for the brighter lights in my life that draw me out of the dark places I so often find myself blindly wandering within. These include my incredable partner G, without whose support I know for certian that I would be long gone from this mortal coil, Bramble the aging pain in the arse spaniel that makes me smile inwardly everday and the fact that I do earn a pittance of a wage gardening which is a far cry from the life of a factory grease monkey. So yes, there are still bad times but they are slowly becoming outwieghed by the good times which is a marked improvement from my life a few years go when the good days were so very few and far between.
Speaking of work, tis been a little full on this week after the storm that swept over the land t'other day. From felled trees to damaged fencing and flooded borders to mountians of debris to be cleared from folks gardens. Not my usual line of gardening but enjoyable all the same, the shear physicality of the work is very energising to say the least. Though I have to admit to aching in parts of my rotund body that I did not even know existed! I hit an age milestone next year and I really do need to think about reducing the heavy work load, such as slabbing, major earthworks, laying raised beds with oak sleepers etc. Since snapping my coller bone G has been on at me (in a good way) to look at ways to still provide an income but without killing myself slowly with the heavy grafting side of my work. She has a point, I have to grudgingly (now that doest not look like it spelt right at all) have to admit. But a problem that I have is my mind, it has all these wonderful ideas that I could turn my hand to, all revolving working in the Orc's workshop but trying to find the mental energy to actually clear out and organise the workshop into a functoning area always seems to elude me. It is as if my head does not want to let me make those first steps into making more changes within my life.
Having said this though I think that I had what might be called an epithany today. I was working (yes I work Sundays as well as every other day ending in the letter Y) at a lovely client's garden today when good fortune smiled upon me in the way somebody would say "come to the darkside, we have cookies". The client in question has a daughter whom has her own share of mental issues which gives us some common ground on which to converse, with me trying to help by being positive and offering advice based upon my own experiances with depression. So today Lauren (the daughter) was showing me a Christmas wreath that she had made and was wondering if people would be interested in purchasing such things. Oh I should explain that Lauren is a talented artist but because of her 'mindset' she has no confidance in herself as regards to building a portfolio or business through her art. So, anyway we looking at this wreath and personally I think that there is definitly a market for this, er more bespoke type of decoration....
Tis not the best photograph but it does give some idea of the wreath. It is made from natural materials with no wire, paints etc and I absolutely love it. Whilst we were talking about possibilities it was mentioned that what was partly stopping her was the state of her workshop/garage. Now we are back off the tangent and closer to the point, so I was asked if I could take a look at the workspace and perhaps offer some advice. I smiled inwardly at this knowing the shocking state of my own workshop but hey ho I have never been one to turn his nose up at the chance of exploring the site of possible hidden treasures. I have to admit that when the door of the workshop was raised my jaw bounced off the floor, it actually made the Orc's Workshop look like a clinical laboratry that had just had all its equipment removed and then given a deep clean. Once I got my head around the sight I managed to climb my way in and took stock. Now I am not an art expert, actually I do not understand the concept of it at all. I personally think that most art is akin to the Emporer's new clothes in that if art critics say it is wonderful than it must be so. But how the bloody hell can a banana duct taped to a wall be art and actually sell for millions of pounds? it makes absolutly no sense whats so ever to me. Give me a a good picture, preferbly of a stormy seascape and that is what I call art. Anyway back to the pit of despair (workshop), it was filled with old furniture left there for years by a relation who has resided in the Americas for the last centuary or so but the main bulk is Laurens old art projects that have been left in this dark place forgotten except to the hords of rodents that now call it home. Like I said I am not an art person to say the least but I really could not get my head around it, perthaps because so much was piled upon itself and that time and rodents had obvously had a hand in its ruination. Actually there was one piece that caught my eye, and I can only describe it as the perfect breast in size, shape and nipple ratio ahem I digress. But then something did catch my eye under all the ruination (at last I hear you wail), the merest glimpse of red metal. There, in its resting place since been driven into the garage probably over twenty years ago was a Westwood ride on lawnmower complete with all accessories. Further frantic rummaging uncovered a rotavator, petrol 20 inch cut lawnmower and a set of long reach hedgecutters with perhaps more still to uncover. I must say I nearly peed m'self with excitment. Turns out all the equipment was left there after the client's ex-husband just got up and left one day with no ryhme nor reason that they could fathom.
So the upshot of this meandering dialogue is that I have been commissioned (sounds better than asked) to help clear and organise the workshop. This involves skipping what requires skipping, helping to sell the furniture, organising and repairing the workspace and moving the rodents to pastures new. In return I will be in possession of said gardening equipment (and hopefully the piece of art that I have now entitled 'non-grease nipple and support') which finally brings me to my own point and the fact that in the New year I shall have all this machinery to restore meaning that I shall need a workspace. Aha the penny droppeth and now you finally see where I am going with this. The Orc's Workshop must be a functioning workshop early next year and I now have the incentive to make it so.
With this renewed zeal to get the workshop ship shape I can then turn my thoughts to making the Orc's Workshop a place to forge profitable new ideas which in turn hopefully allow me to take the back breaking side of my gardening work out of the equation. Having said this also today I have just taken on a work commision do lower about one hundred feet of leylandi hedging from around twenty feet high to around ten feet high, oh and the hedge is about 10 to 12 feet wide, at the same time hard pruning several massive, and I mean really big Rhoddendron shrubs that must be several decades old judging by their massive limbs in the New year. Ah well I guess my poor back will just have to cope for a tad while longer.
And with that I shall end this rambling and wish you all good health,
'till the next time, John the Gardener
John, sounds like a right fair trade.
ReplyDeleteI have found that if I can figure out what triggers my depressive states, I can work to actively avoid them (or at least as much as I can do to avoid them anyway).